Awake

If Fainting Was An Extreme Sport

The irony of a massage therapist having a leg muscle cramp so painful that it wakes her up, is not lost on me. But that's exactly what happened to me yesterday morning at about 6:00 am.

I was sleeping on a small air mattress on the floor and when the cramp seized my right calf, I cried out in pain and quickly stood up to stop the dang thing from firing. I stood up much too quickly, apparently, because suddenly I was swimming in dizziness. More like drowning in it. I went to the bathroom and it just got worse. I was confused and very troubled because I had never experienced such an intense level of dizziness in my life (and believe me, I've had my fair share). I kneeled in front of the toilet, expecting to vomit, but instead, I blacked out, and when I regained consciousness, I was lying face down in the shower stall in a pool of blood.

Confused beyond belief and my nose still bleeding profusely, I managed to apply pressure to the bridge of my nose while succumbing to a hysterical panic attack. (I'm pretty good in a crisis, but apparently my breaking point is waking up in a pool of my own blood in the shower, completely alone.) I called my poor mother, incomprehensible, rambling, confused, frightened, and sobbing, who managed to calm me down. Thanks, Mom. :)

I then attended to what I was sure was low blood sugar and finished off a chai protein smoothie, one and half bananas and a glass of water. Still woozy, I laid down and it was then I discovered the bump on my forehead. I grabbed an ice pack and considered the various locations of blood in the bathroom: the toilet seat, the roll of toilet paper, and the shower floor. Later that day, pain in my neck manifested and I pieced together what probably happened when I fainted (here's where the extreme sport of fainting comes in).

When I blacked out, I must have face-planted on the toilet seat, hitting the bridge of my nose, the thick part of my skull above my left eyebrow, and the top part of my left cheekbone. Reflexively, my neck whipped back and turned me around, where I landed on the toilet paper roll stand, which I bounced off of and came to be lying on the shower stall floor, hitting my left shoulder and chest on something (based on the bruises I discovered this morning) in the process. Now that is what I call extreme fainting.

Long story short, I got checked out at urgent care and all the blood work came back within normal ranges. So, apparently it was just an extreme hypotensive moment—a moment of very low blood pressure—that my body just couldn't balance out before the physiological command for "lights out" was issued.

Lessons learned? I should have laid flat when I got so dizzy instead of placing myself in front of a hard surface. In mild moments of dizziness, I do this. But this was such an overwhelming sensation, I didn't think of getting myself out of the way of hazards. Two, I should be taking better care of myself, getting massage regularly, and doing more self-care on my calf muscles, which have been increasingly prone to middle-of-the-night painful cramping. Three, I am so so so tired of being "independent" and alone. I have never been so frightened and have never panicked like that—even the time when I woke up, face all black and blue apparently because a spider had been crawling on me and biting me and I proceeded to beat the crap out of my face trying to kill it...all while asleep. (Yeah, if unconsciousness was an extreme sport, I probably have enough material for 12 episodes of a reality tv show.)

So, yeah. That was my Tuesday.

Thanks everyone for the well-wishes, help, offers of help, information, "hang-in-theres", thoughts and prayers all throughout the day. I am lucky to have such wonderful support from such amazing friends, family, and even the kindness of strangers.

Happy Wednesday.