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shawn time 15.12.03..09.27.04
vertigo
go get new U2 @
hola?
shawn time 23.35.34..09.26.04
london.1
big ben.
parliament.
shawn time 20.53.04..09.23.04
fasting
I have a gentleman living with me.
Tom.
Shortly before Tom moved in with me, I gave my bed away to my friend Maria and replaced it with a bed my sister gave me.
When Tom moved in, I gave him my (new) bed.
I slept on the couch for a while.
Then I moved to a new apartment.
Tom moved with me.
My couch did not move with me. I left it for my not-so-nice-new-ex-landlord to deal with.
(She kicked me out of my old apartment because she wanted to live there. note-to-self: write about property ownership/landlordship).
Since I have been living in my new apartment with Tom, I have been sleeping on the floor.
Tom still uses my new bed.
My friend, Maria, moved last week.
Her mom gave her a new bed.
Maria did not want my old bed anymore.
I took back my old bed.
I was sleeping on the floor.
I am now sleeping in my old bed.
After sleeping on the floor for a few months, I very much appreciate a bed. Even though my newest bed is really my old bed (and it is a small bed at that) it is not the floor.
It is a comfortable and wonderful bed.
The first night I slept in this old bed again, it struck me that it was a good thing to sleep on the floor for a few months. Giving up a daily comfort for a greater purpose.
Tom used to live outside.
He never had a bed.
It is really important that he sleeps in a bed now.
I am now regularly consider what I will go without next, so that I can appreciate what it is that I do have and am given. When I climbed into my old bed for the first time after sleeping on the floor for months, I thought about all of the people that do not have a bed to sleep in. It has never been much of a thought that many, many people sleep every night without a bed. And, I never thought about them when I was sleeping on the floor. But, I did and still do think about them now that I again have a bed to sleep in.
So, there is something to that. To the "give-something-up-but-not-forever" act. It seems important to go long enough without a treasured comfort so that when that treasure is returned, it is all that more valuable. Not valuable in a selfish way, but valuable in a way that I am reminded how much Dad loves me and provides for me, an how much He wants me to be about loving others and providing for them.
I am glad Tom has a bed to sleep in.
I am glad Maria gave me my old bed back.
I am glad I get to sleep in a bed again.
Next time I will not wait for the situation (the lack of a bed) to just "come about". Maybe sometime soon, after a long day of work and stress, instead of crashing in the warmth and comfort of my prodigal bed, I will grab a blanket and give the floor another try.
Or maybe I will lose the keys to my car for a couple weeks.
Or turn off my computer for a month.
Or give all my coats away during an Oregon autumn.
Or go barefoot for a day.
Or hide my glasses from myself for a few hours.
Or not go shopping when my fridge is empty.
shawn time 14.55.45..09.23.04
me on google.2
wait....now the metzgersearch has me at 114.
hmm?
maybe i need to learn how this in-ter-net thing works. or at least how google tracks pages.
shawn time 14.47.53..09.23.04
me on google
Google Search: metzger and i land at 129th. whoo hoo.
Google Search: schmetzger ....and i am....uh....er....
shawn time 12.58.38..09.21.04
flash class
being a faculty member at pncahas its benefits. free CEclasses! tonight i start my 6 week journey into flash.
some motivation...
Levitated | the Exploration of Computation
shawn time 23.27.50..09.19.04
portland.1
10th and Glisan
shawn time 20.33.30..09.19.04
numb
up late. didn't sleep much. not tired though. church this morning. tutoring this afternoon. all day feeling numb.
numb.
numb.
dunno why.
dunno why I am.
dunno why I am blogging.
dunno why I am blogging these thoughts.
dunno why I am blogging.
dunno why I am.
dunno why.
dunno.
blahg.
shawn time 00.20.11..09.19.04
pic testing
shawn time 21.11.46..09.16.04
feel
feel like i should blog
feel like it could mean something
at least to me
maybe
maybe not