[sch]metzger: personal Archives

shawn time 17.36.37..10.31.05 | Comments (3)

rain

i would just like to take a moment to perpetuate my opinion that the rainfall in our wonderful city is to be received as God's grace upon the people of this city.

this is a sense that i had years ago, have mentioned only to a few, and would like to state today to you all.

so what?
so....go walk in the rain.
be in the rain.
no hoods. no umbrellas. no Mercurys over the head.
get wet and enjoy it.

shawn time 14.22.06..10.25.05 | Comments (3)

migraines

more and more headaches lately.

i used to get them all the time. then they kinda stopped, maybe only a few a year. now i am having more migraines and more general headaches.

i woke up with a migraine last week...
that hardly ever happens. i have gone to sleep with them, but not often do i wake up in the middle of the night with one when i did not have it when i went to sleep.

and...
i haven't really shaken it since then.
a bit over a week now.

it has been a while since i have headaches like this. it has gotten me thinking.
thinking about romans 8:22-27.

maybe i am crazy?
maybe not.

something is happening.
something deep.
something in me.
something so much bigger too.
an ache. a pain.
painful enough to wake me from sleep,
to keep me from work.

but what is it....???

shawn time 01.13.40..10.04.05 | Comments (2)

i must hate myself

i am thinking about grad school again.

shawn time 22.31.43..09.18.05 | Comments (3)

a vacation pictorial

I went here...

to visit...

and to see things like...
(click for larger view)

the end

shawn time 16.55.41..04.25.05 | Comments (10)

u depressed 2?

just want to write that today i feel depressed.
flat
bland
blah
dark
depressed

dont know what it is
maybe others feel it too?

thought i would put it here to see if it hits the same nerve with anyone else.

maybe its because yesterday was such a good day, and one i had looked forward to for a long time. good times with friends, good concert, good memories.

BUT....
it seems to me that that really isnt it at all. something more. hm.

shawn time 17.28.10..04.22.05

spin-off?

Can blogs have spin-offslike sit-coms do?

I have an idea for a thuper thweet new blog that i may launch this summer.
not funny like a sit-com. but a spin-off like a sit-com. Happy Days and Laverne and Shirley. The Cosby Show and A Different World. Cheers and Frazier. 21 Jump Streetand Booker. uh, er, well.

So, take me as a character and have me play shawn, but in a slightly different light, a new role. you will see. it will make sense soon enough.

But heck, i cant even hardly keep one blog afloat, let alone 2. hmm.

One of these days the powers that be at sleepyheadcity.com may start charging me rent for all these bytes and bandwidth.

But really, it is a good idea. you will see. you will see.

(if you did not click on the "21 Jump Street" link already....please do so now and enjoy)

shawn time 16.49.29..04.22.05

good friday

not The good friday, but a good one nonetheless.

beautiful weather. day off from tutoring appointments. got lots of the "to do" list done. found a new avenue to help my roommate Tom get some benefits. bought a dry erase board (i gotta see everything at once). got some new tutoring calls that i will contract out to my tutors. enjoyed a hershey bar with almonds. bought a cool gift to cheer up a friend. U2 in Seattle on Sunday. did a bit of grocery shopping. the digital camera i fell into the Pacific with is $100 cheaper than it used to be. there is a House
event happening tonight (actually been happening) and you are all invited. gonna hang with my good friend Rich also tonight before i go to the House deal.

and it is only 10 til 5.

shawn time 16.38.54..04.15.05 | Comments (3)

they like me, they really..... (Part 2)

these are good words to read from a dean at PNCA....

"Dear Shawn, I want to let you know of the college's intention to offer you a teaching assignment for the Fall 2005 term."

:)
:)
:)

shawn time 22.38.04..04.14.05 | Comments (5)

they like me, they really.....

i am going back to Iowa for a second round of speaking at a summer camp a friend of mine runs.

stoked. can i still use that word?

so, i am starting to ponder/think/pray about what i am to communicate to those high school hearts and minds.

i am so very excited to be going back again.

:)
:)
:)

smiles, everyone, smiles.

shawn time 23.14.05..04.05.05 | Comments (3)

holy craigslist

well, i needed tutors. past tense.

i think it was someone elses suggestion awhile ago (kathleen?...i dont remember)....but i posted an ad on craigslist.
all the math tutors were hangin out there.

so...9 replies later, I have some interviewing to do.
it has been on there for i think 8 whole hours.
there will be even more responses coming no doubt.

with all the potential tutors, it makes me start to think about doing some advertising to drum up some more business to put these guys to work.

tutoring world domination soon.

shawn time 00.26.39..04.04.05 | Comments (5)

let it ride

my Subaru made it to 100,000 last week. yeah. i am truly amazed.
what a joke this car has been. a blessing. and a joke.

it entered 6 digits as i was driving through Dundee, OR. i was on my way to, uh, well, um...... a place that i happened to win a dollar for every 1,000 miles that i have driven that car.

no joke.

shawn time 00.07.11..04.04.05 | Comments (2)

Three Rivers Tutoring Company

do i need a vacation? or do I need to stop tutoring?

it is spring break right now, no teaching, no tutoring. it is nice.

i am so fickle with jobs. i can't stay doing the same thing for very long. tutoring has been the thing i have done the longest. it is grinding on me. I am not missing it a bit during this break. i wonder if i would miss it if i did not do it for, um, ever.

i so much enjoy the opportunity to do whatever comes up. for the potential of each and every day. people to talk to. lunches to enjoy with friends. places to sit and enjoy the world.

this week i have often thought....where would i be right now during a normal week??? most often the answer was...in a tutoring appointment.

i know i am whining. we all work. i think we all do. and as far as jobs go, i have a pretty good one. and the pay aint so bad either. BUT...i dunno. maybe i just need to suck it up.

maybe it is a turning 30 thing. a mid-midlife crisis. wondering if i am spending this time that i have in the best way possible.

whenever i do not have tutoring, it seems as if i so much enjoy the opportunity to be creative. I am not that productive on the creative side of things, but i at least have the time and energy to think about it more. thats what this blog is really, just an outlet of a bit of creativity.

i will get to summer and rethink this all. summer is a good time to change things. I thought that last summer though, and what changed?

well, i did take one more day off a week (2 total). the previous years i tutored 6 days a week. i started working at PNCA, which i do want to do next year. I guess those things changed. thats good. i moved apartments. i changed churches. i guess a lot changed. so what is going to change this summer?

deep down i think i want to do something new, something different. something not tutoring. or at least not where i am tutoring 25 appointments a week. and thats the weird thing, its my business, i started it, cant i control it and end it? it is a weird thing when you feel as if you are bound and a slave to something that you created.

hmm...things to ponder.

shawn time 21.32.53..02.04.05 | Comments (9)

the mighty pacific

I was at the beach last weekend, on retreat with a ministry I am involved with.
It was a great time...except...

i slipped.
and fell.
off a stump.
onto the sand.
when a wave was coming in.
i got wet.
with my camera in my hand.

salt water + sand + digital camera = sucky

that great birthday present was ruined in a second. i loved having a digital camera. all 2 and a half months that i had it. gotta save some pennies to get a new one now. feel free to contribute to the cause :)

shawn time 14.22.08..12.23.04

radiobed

i had a dream with Thom Yorke last night.

shawn time 14.13.23..12.09.04 | Comments (1)

stream.3

not much time to post lately....
so here are more thoughts that i could potential write more about......
or not.

life of a tutor. busy. do i want to tutor forever? what else would i do? i need to something more creative. rock star.

pnca is almost over for x-mas break. it will be nice to have a month off to refuel.

spending two days reuniting with mt. hood academy. not great pay, but i get a lift ticket. that could save me hundreds this year. anyone wanna snowboard?

sick again. i think i got it from being in so many different homes of tutoring clients. germs. particles. particle theory. yuck.

i lost at the poker tournament. well, i didn't win. out of 160 players, i placed about right in the middle. i played a dumb hand that put me out. i stopped thinking for just a few seconds. long enough to push all in and get beat. oh well. it was a fun time. i won the poker night that we had before the casino tournament, so it didn't cost me anything to enter.

what to do for x-mas? what to do for x-mas? i think i need to get outta portland for a bit. at least a weekend. orlando?

i have been feeling lonely lately. i miss laura.

i have been super tired lately.

i have been wondering/praying about why Jesus cried when Lazarus died. sad over the death of a friend? disappointed in the lack of faith of others? sad because others were sad? all of the above? none of the above? i have not yet been satisfied with my answers. still on the trail.

i still want to start an open mic here in multnomah village. thinking about doing it after the new year. maybe on the "first friday" times. i need to do some leg work on that. i need to write some songs. i need to sing better.

would like to be taking more pictures. tutoring slows down at the beginning of next week, and classes are done after next week. time time time.

stream done

shawn time 00.06.31..11.27.04 | Comments (1)

an excerpt

"The thing is, when Adam finished naming the animals, after all his work and effort, God put him to sleep, took a rib out of his side, and fashioned a woman. I had read that part a thousand times, too, but I don't think I quite realized how beautiful this moment was. Moses said the whole time Adam was naming the animals, that entire hundred years, he couldn't find a helpmate suitable for him. That means while he was naming cattle he was lonely because he couldn't really communicate in the same way with the cattle, and when he was naming fish he probably wanted to go swim in the ocean with them, but he couldn't breathe underwater; and the entire time he could not imagine what a helpmate might look like, how a helpmate might talk, the ways in which a helpmate might think. The idea of another person had, perhaps, never entered Adam's mind. Just like a kid who grows up without a father has no idea what having a father would be like, a guy who grows up the only human would have no idea what having another human around would be like. So here was this guy who was intensely relational, needing other people, and in order to cause him to appreciate the gift of companionship, God had him hang out with chimps for a hundred years. It's quite beautiful, really. God directed Adam's steps so that when He created Eve, Adam would have the utmost appreciation, respect, and gratitude.
"I think it was smart of God because today, now that there are women all around and a guy can go on the Internet and see them naked anytime he wants, the whole species has been devalued. If I were a girl today in America, I would be a feminist for sure. I read recently where one out of every four women, by the time they reach thirty, are sexually harassed, molested, or raped. And then I thought how very beautiful it was that God made Adam work for so long because there is no way, after a hundred years of being alone, looking for somebody whom you would connect with in your soul, that you would take advantage of a woman once you met one. She would be the most precious creation in all of the world, and you would probably wake up every morning and look at her and wonder at her beauty, or the gentle, silent way she sleeps. It stands to reason if Byron, Keats, and Shelley made beauty from reflecting on their muses, having grown up around women all their lives, that even these sonnets could not capture the sensation Adam must have felt when he opened his eyes to find Eve."

-Donald Miller, Searching for God Knows What, pp. 65-66

shawn time 22.52.15..11.22.04 | Comments (3)

stream.2

another stream-of-consciousness....
potential things to blog about...

how my taste in food, as well as my taste in clothes is pretty bland....and what that says about who I am. and why i need more color in both.

why i look at books more than i read books.

how cool my birthday was. which leads to how cool digital pictures are. oh wait....already did that. my birthday rocked.

a discussion of the boundaries in life, love, time, energy, relationships, money etc. why is it important to have them, and what happens when i don't.

i should have a regular blog installation (post) that features a friend. i have some cool friends. i think that i should interview them and post some of their interesting thoughts and ideas. who is first?

my ideas to rule the tutoring world.

my idea to play bass in the next biggest band of the world.

why the House of Prayer is ultra-important to what is up spiritually in our city.

why i have more ideas than i will actually ever blog about.

why blogging is at the same theraputic, creative, voyeuristic, satisfying, and selfish.

shawn time 11.00.20..11.19.04 | Comments (2)

silver lining

he is still a craphead burglar...
but I left my wallet at the House. Yeah!

already cancelled the cards though...so I will live off of cash for a while.

keyboard still gone.
(sniff)

shawn time 09.10.33..11.19.04 | Comments (1)

craphead burglar

and my wallet is gone
no cash
just cards
bank cards
license
insurance card
hassle

shawn time 05.38.05..11.19.04 | Comments (3)

the sound of my own voice

If you heard "hey!!!", "HEY!!!", "HEYYYYYY!!!" echoing through the streets of downtown Porltand at about 4am Friday morning, that was me.

I was yelling at the guy that was rummaging through my car.

He heard me.
He ran.

That was about an hour and a half ago.

I saw the guy, briefly, before he ran off around the corner. All my stuff was still there. Well, except my keyboard. The most mother heavy thing in my car got stolen.

I think there must have been another person involved. The guy that ran off definitely was not carrying it. And it was too heavy, and too short of a time for him to have been back for a second trip.

Everything else was left.

If I were thinking clearly when I was being robbed, I would not have yelled so loudly at him. Maybe not at all. I think I would have skipped right to the calling the police part of the story. It would have been a bit more enjoyable to watch the police roll up and yell at him, than it was for me to have an excuse to yell through the streets of pdx at 4 in the morning.

He did leave his flashlight in my car. The police took that.
He did drop his cell phone. The police took that.
He did leave his fingerprints. The police did not take that.

I drove around for 20 minutes or so afterwards. I don't really know what I would have done if I saw him cruising down the street with my Yamaha SY85. Maybe I would have just taken the opportunity to yell "HEY" real loud again and hear my voice echo through the streets of Portland at 4 in the morning as he dropped my keyboard and ran away. Then I would have a broken keyboard.

shawn time 23.45.58..11.18.04

pop-therapy

"I write feelings, not thoughts. Feelings are much stronger than thoughts. We are all led by instinct, and our intellect catches up later."

-Bono (from Spin magazine)

shawn time 00.56.14..11.15.04 | Comments (9)

30th surprise party!

Best Birthday ever!
[almost] All of my friends in the same place at the same time. Unbelievable.

All of my worlds converged in one place at one time.

I thank everyone that was there. I thank everyone that pitched in for the digital camera that took the pics below. A wonderful gift.

It was a great great great great great night.

Thank you Laura for planning such a special occasion.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

(click on pics for larger view)

shawn time 15.07.48..11.13.04 | Comments (5)

29.997153916211

the last day of my 20's.
my third decade is over.
30 years.

by the time they were 30.....
Einstein had published his "special theory of relativity".
The Beatles had recorded, ruled the charts, and broken up.
John F. Kennedy had been elected to Congress.
Mozart had written a pile of music, too much to quantify.
Michael Jordan had won an NCAA title, 3 NBA titles, and 3 NBA MVP awards.
Jesus had made a lot of coffee tables.
Shawn has a blog.

shawn time 12.48.44..11.09.04 | Comments (1)

long lost friends

evidentally, feelings are important.
specifically, my feelings are important.
news to me.

the past two weeks I have been attempting to listen a bit closer to my feelings. i know i have them. i know that i have HAD them. i just never knew that they should matter at all.

i know it sounds a bit unreal for those of you that are aware of your feelings all of the time. i have, over time, learned to not really listen to feelings. like i said, i know that they are there, but i always was told that your feelings were wrong, or that feelings lie, and that they are not to be trusted.

i have been chewing on this helpful advise: (DISCLAIMER: helpful for me. it may not be helpful for you.)
the advise i received is this: feelings are not right and they are not wrong. they just are. feelings are information about yourself. they exist. they exist for a reason. listening to your feelings is helpful in knowing more about who you. letting feelings inform you is a good thing.

so, the past couple of weeks, i have been asking myself that important question.....

"shawn, how do you feel?"

sounds funny to me.

when i ask myself that, it usually is not hard to have a word to attach to how i am feeling. it really is not too hard at all. what is hard is remembering to ask myself the question. i need to ask myself that question more, and remind myself to ask myself, and remind to remind myself to ask myself......

i have gone for so long pushing my feeling away, or down, or out, or somewhere. thinking always ruled. the mind was always right. everything could be figured out, rationalized. feelings were deceivers and not to be heard or trusted.

thoughts and feelings can co-exist together within me. one does not negate the other. one does not override the other. they just both are there. i can be both a thinker and a feeler.

thoughts and feelings are friends.
long lost friends.

shawn time 23.29.48..11.03.04

words vs. images

sometimes it is just easier to post a pic than to write.
watch out for falling buildings.

shawn time 14.04.20..10.30.04 | Comments (7)

stream.1

some stream-of-consciousness about the past couples of weeks...
all of which can/may be extended into longer posts later.

-travelled up to seattle to accompany a good friend PJ Trudeau. He spoke at a middle school camp. I prayed for him. There may be more of that. It was good.

-have met with a counselor twice now. I am pretty sure everyone needs therapy.

-tutoring is tough. Not the knowledge or the teaching. But the schedule. Been thinking again of how to grow the business. Office space in LO?

-PNCA is still a great experience. The teaching is good. I wish I could continue to unlock/tap into my creativity. Being there demands it.

-finished a 6-week Flash animation class. Flash is cool. Need money to buy Flash. It is cheaper with educator discount. But I still have $0.

-House of Prayer is starting another week of 24-7. Why am I not there more? My Tuesday nights down there have been good, though. And after my session, time with Roy is fulfilling.

-Tom thinks lots of kids are going to show up for trick-or-treating. I am trying to make that possible. But our location may prohibit that reality. Sorry Tom.

-I wish tutoring clients would pay their invoices. I wish I could pay my bills.

-I may write a letter to all churches in the world to stop being dumb. Because I know everything.

-in 2 weeks I turn 30.

-birthday WISH list: digital camera, iPod Photo, laptop, music gear. Or maybe just some nice birthday greeting cards.

-I haven't been listenig to a lot of music lately. I need some new bands. Radiohead is still as stinking good as they were a few months ago.

-tell everyone about my blog.

shawn time 15.47.01..10.15.04 | Comments (11)

anyone read this thing?

Blogging is weird.

Why do I blog? I ask myself that all of the time.

I like creating. That's one reason.
To be able to create something that is immediately on screen in front of me is enjoyable.
And, the possibility that someone else may (or usually, may not) see what I am creating is enjoyable too.

Blogging is a journal-like experience for me. I know that when I post, it is hardly ever writing. I do not write often. I think that if I kept an actual, physical journal, it would not be just writing. But a mixture of pictures, writing, doodles, etc. The benefit here (blog) is that it offers so much more as far a posting digital media. I can not post a flash animation (as cheesy as mine are so far) in a paper journal. I can not download digital pictures into a diary. It is much easier to link to someone else's idea that I think interesting than to write extensively about that idea with pen and paper.

I see the value in a physical journal, but I also know that I have never been motivated to keep one. I am motivated to blog, to update the blog, to post various thoughts and pictures and drawings and other peoples ideas, etc etc. To communicate how I see things happening in my life, and to be able to do that through various media is a huge motivator.

And, again, although I see blogging as a good thing for me in and of itself, I am pretty sure that I also want others to see it too. Somehow I want to be able to create, or participate, in a community that uses and views blogging as important and meaningful. I also want to allow those that do not blog a connection to my world. I want to keep in touch with the larger world (granted it is through a computer).

What is larger than this web world? That this site is accessible to nearly anyone (connected) in the world is a powerful idea. I know that the probability that "anyone" would stumble into my world, and see that world as at all interesting is very very small. Do I desire others (everyone) to see my ground breaking, earth shaking blog? Of course.

Maybe the same way I desire to win the lottery.

So, if you have stumbled onto my little world "schmetzger", make sure you leave a comment somewhere. It will encourage me. I will keep me posting. It will make me feel like I am a lotto winner.

Blogging is weird.

shawn time 15.03.53..10.15.04 | Comments (3)

motorcycle

Last night, I had a dream that I bought a motorcycle for $1800.
I have never ridden a motorcycle.
I do not have $1800.

shawn time 20.53.04..09.23.04 | Comments (1)

fasting

I have a gentleman living with me.
Tom.
Shortly before Tom moved in with me, I gave my bed away to my friend Maria and replaced it with a bed my sister gave me.
When Tom moved in, I gave him my (new) bed.
I slept on the couch for a while.

Then I moved to a new apartment.
Tom moved with me.
My couch did not move with me. I left it for my not-so-nice-new-ex-landlord to deal with.
(She kicked me out of my old apartment because she wanted to live there. note-to-self: write about property ownership/landlordship).

Since I have been living in my new apartment with Tom, I have been sleeping on the floor.
Tom still uses my new bed.

My friend, Maria, moved last week.
Her mom gave her a new bed.
Maria did not want my old bed anymore.
I took back my old bed.
I was sleeping on the floor.
I am now sleeping in my old bed.

After sleeping on the floor for a few months, I very much appreciate a bed. Even though my newest bed is really my old bed (and it is a small bed at that) it is not the floor.
It is a comfortable and wonderful bed.

The first night I slept in this old bed again, it struck me that it was a good thing to sleep on the floor for a few months. Giving up a daily comfort for a greater purpose.

Tom used to live outside.
He never had a bed.
It is really important that he sleeps in a bed now.

I am now regularly consider what I will go without next, so that I can appreciate what it is that I do have and am given. When I climbed into my old bed for the first time after sleeping on the floor for months, I thought about all of the people that do not have a bed to sleep in. It has never been much of a thought that many, many people sleep every night without a bed. And, I never thought about them when I was sleeping on the floor. But, I did and still do think about them now that I again have a bed to sleep in.

So, there is something to that. To the "give-something-up-but-not-forever" act. It seems important to go long enough without a treasured comfort so that when that treasure is returned, it is all that more valuable. Not valuable in a selfish way, but valuable in a way that I am reminded how much Dad loves me and provides for me, an how much He wants me to be about loving others and providing for them.

I am glad Tom has a bed to sleep in.
I am glad Maria gave me my old bed back.
I am glad I get to sleep in a bed again.

Next time I will not wait for the situation (the lack of a bed) to just "come about". Maybe sometime soon, after a long day of work and stress, instead of crashing in the warmth and comfort of my prodigal bed, I will grab a blanket and give the floor another try.

Or maybe I will lose the keys to my car for a couple weeks.
Or turn off my computer for a month.
Or give all my coats away during an Oregon autumn.
Or go barefoot for a day.
Or hide my glasses from myself for a few hours.
Or not go shopping when my fridge is empty.

shawn time 20.33.30..09.19.04 | Comments (2)

numb

up late. didn't sleep much. not tired though. church this morning. tutoring this afternoon. all day feeling numb.
numb.
numb.
dunno why.
dunno why I am.
dunno why I am blogging.
dunno why I am blogging these thoughts.
dunno why I am blogging.
dunno why I am.
dunno why.
dunno.

blahg.

shawn time 21.11.46..09.16.04 | Comments (3)

feel

feel like i should blog
feel like it could mean something
at least to me
maybe
maybe not

shawn time 23.58.50..07.16.04 | Comments (1)

DHOP Support Letter

first Downtown House of Prayer support letter......
enjoy.
pray.
send money.
pray again.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Hello friends and family,

It has been a while since I have sent a letter like this. But, the time has come to get you all up to date with some of the happenings in my life.

So, hunker on in. I�ve got some exciting things that I want you all to know about.

Most of you know that during the school year, I run a tutoring company. From September until the first week of June, I tutor like crazy. Every year seems to get busier and busier. I can barely keep up! But after that first week of June, tutoring dies. There are not a lot of students that need (or want!!) a math tutor throughout the summer. During these hot, non-tutoring months, I am able to pursue some unique and exciting opportunities.

Over the past few years, I have been involved with a ministry called the Downtown House of Prayer. The House, as I will call it, is an amazing ministry that my heart beats in rhythm with. Their passion and vision is to pray for God�s purposes to be known in our city. A great amount of time and energy is spent praying for youth, the poor, the unity of the local churches, and an increase in God�s power and presence in the greater Portland area. It has been a joy of mine to be involved in this ministry, and for some reason, they even seem to like me!!

The House has been running for close to 4 years, and, as ministry goes, is always in need of people willing to give their time and resources to help it continue. As I began to build relationships with others that are committed to this ministry, I soon realized that the majority of the burden and responsibility of leadership fell disproportionately on only a few people. As my heart grew to appreciate and understand the role that a prayer ministry like this is to have in the �big picture� of who God is in our city, I soon realized that my skills, abilities, resources, and relationships could be used to help relieve some of the burden that the current leadership is under. The Downtown House of Prayer is in need of people willing to contribute their hearts and passions to moving along this truly Divine vision.

In light of all of this, I have chosen to increase my role and responsibility at the House. I have committed to fill a summer staff position. This role will allow me to not only participate in various sessions during the week, but also allow me to help push the vision of the House forward in ways that I could not previously. During these months I expect to be at the House 15-20 hours a week playing music, praying, creating new sessions, fund raising, helping with administrative duties, etc.

Additionally, August 9-20, I will be traveling with a team to Edinburgh, Scotland. Every year, the world descends upon Scotland for the Edinburgh International Arts Festival, as well as a secondary festival called �The Fringe�. The team from the House of Prayer will partner with the Youth With A Mission base and the 24-7 Prayer Ministries to set up a prayer room in the heart of The Fringe festival at a Salvation Army building. This prayer room will run 24 hours a day for 3 weeks during the festival, praying for the people, travelers, and participants of Edinburgh and the festival.

We will not just be in the prayer room, though. We will also be involved with building relationships throughout the festival with artists, musicians, and whomever the Lord places along our path. We will potentially have opportunities to join in and play in various gigs and shows in the festival. It is exciting to think that in a matter of weeks I will be meeting, talking, playing music, and praying with people from all over the world. I am excited and blessed that God has chosen me to participate in an overseas ministry like this one!

So, friends and family, I write to you not only to let you know of the decision I have made to be involved with this ministry, but to let you know that I want and need you to be involved with me. Over the years, I have occasionally written letters to gather prayer and financial support for the ministries I have been involved with, and I have always been amazingly humbled and awed by your love, encouragement, and generosity in supporting all of my crazy decisions!!! I truly believe God has called me to live a life that is a bit different than I am sometimes comfortable with, and this decision to go on staff with the House of Prayer is no exception.

In the few weeks since I have started this commitment, I have become very aware of the amount of prayer support I will need to sustain my role there. I believe that the House of Prayer is a strategic and important ministry in this city, and it needs (and I need) willing, faithful prayer supporters to commit to praying as I am involved there.

I am always hesitant to ask for help. I tend to want to do everything on my own. I cannot do this alone. I desperately need people praying for me. I need people to COMMIT to pray for me. I need people to understand what I am about and what this ministry is about and support me in and through it all.

Please consider praying.

To be able to keep track of those of you that want to pray, please fill out the enclosed card. Maybe you want to pray just for the trip to Scotland...GREAT! Maybe you want to commit to praying for me everyday...GREAT! If you feel like you are to pray for me in any way, please fill out the card. Filling out the card is an easy way for me to be able to keep you all in the loop a bit more specifically and regularly. If I am asking you to pray, I want to hold up my end by communicating regularly so that you can be informed on how to pray.

Finally, being on staff at the House (a non-profit organization) allows me to raise financial support for myself and for the general ministry of the House. As I mentioned, the burden of this ministry has fallen on a few shoulders, and I want to attempt to relieve that burden. Part of my desire to help is to communicate the needs of the House. Financially, like any other ministry, it survives by people giving freely. If you would like to donate money to support the Downtown House of Prayer, or our trip to Scotland, or me specifically, please do!!! Feel free to give a one-time gift, or a regular monthly gift.

Specifically, funds are needed for the Scotland trip in August (less than 1 month away!). Each team member is raising $2000 to pay for airfare, lodging, food, and other expenses. Help get me to Scotland!! Support this trip!! SEND MONEY ASAP!!

Other, more general, financial needs are for utilities, lease of the building, insurance, staff, audio/visual/computer/musical/software gear, office supplies and equipment, etc.

Please make your check payable to In The House Ministries. All donations are tax-deductible. If you do make a donation, please make sure to fill out the enclosed card.

Also, if you want to know more about the Downtown House of Prayer, or would like to participate in any of the various sessions throughout the week, please get in touch with me. I would love to talk to you more about what is going on and how you could be involved. I would love to show you around so you can get a feel for what I am doing and what it is all about.

Here is a map of downtown Edinburgh, Scotland

We will be staying in an apartment just up Broughton Street off of this map. In a few weeks, these streets will be teeming with thousands of people attending the arts festivals�including me! Let this map remind you to pray for us as we go to pray in and amongst those people in these exact streets.

Thank you for taking the time to hear my life and consider being involved in this next chapter.

Love ya,

Shawn Cardwell
shawncardwell@mac.com
503 806 1087
p.s. I moved. My new address is the return address on the outside of the envelope.

shawn time 21.45.09..06.09.04 | Comments (4)

my new home

time to move
time to rename blog?
check the aerial shot of the new pad

the building to the right of that ugly red thumbtack surrounded by the huge amount of trees

find your aerial shot at TerraServer

shawn time 23.17.11..05.19.04

Termination of Tenancy

|||an email I sent recently....|||

Beloved friends and family,

My apartment just got sold last month, and evidently my new landlord needs a place to live.
I have 27 days to find a new place of residence.
any ideas?

seriously, if any of you have a good contact, lead, friend, or someone that owes you a big favor that can help me land a new place to live....send them my way!

I am open to options. I am flexible. I will take donations. :)

Maybe this is a common occurrence in the real world, but I have never had the privilege of getting kicked out of my home. I have been here 5 and a half years. Metzger is (was) home. Maybe I will frame the eviction notice.

It makes me want to own a home so that I will never be kicked out.
It makes me never want to be a landlord so I will never have to do the kicking.

It's bad (but probably Divine) timing, being that this is the busiest tutoring month of the year, and I will have little time to figure it all out.
I trust it must be time to move on, and that a new home will be found. Pray for it.

Send me your ideas.
Pray for a new space.
Know you are appreciated.

Shawn
p.s. for those that know...also pray for Tom in this process, as it adds a bit of complexity to the whole situation.